Sunday, October 20, 2019

Know Your Weaponry: Firearms Presentation

This is the powerpoint from my presentation on firearms from the Nebraska Writers Guild Fall Conference 2019.


 The US Military is the #1 firearms purchaser in this country. Cabela's is #2.
I've been interested in weapons of all kinds since I was in about junior high and I worked at Cabela's for 9 years, five of which I spent selling firearms. I also own and use firearms. In addition, most of what I write includes weapons of some kind.
I tried to keep this presentation as informative and as politics free as possible. I know how much of a hot-button issue firearms are and didn't want to get into it during the class.

 This was not an all-encompassing history of firearms. There's no way to get that in a 45 minute presentation, it's just too extensive.

Gunpowder was invented in the early 9th century in China and was used for medicinal purposes. The first record of it being used in warfare was in 904. Gunpowder finally made it to the rest of Asia and into Europe in the 1300's on the Great Silk Road. The first hand-held firearms were hand-gonnes (top picture) which were essentially metal tubes on sticks that had a hole at the rear to ignite the gunpowder using a candle or burning stick. Matchlocks were invented in the late 1600's which had a lit wick on a mechnisim that would drop onto the powder pan when the trigger was pulled, igniting the powder and causing the bullet to fire.
Then came the wheellock and flintlock (bottom picture) guns that used flint against steel to create sparks that ignited the gunpowder. Most of these early firearms were smooth-bore which means the barrels were just simple metal tubes without rifling. Rifling is a spiral groove cut into the inside of the barrel that causes the bullet to spin, increasing the accuracy of the bullet.
This period also had an early form of a shotgun called a blunderbuss (had a flared muzzle that kind of looks like a trumpet). These were loaded with lead shot but could fire pretty much anything you could load into it.
The ammo that was used were simple lead balls or lead shot which consisted of lots of smaller lead balls.

The first patent for a "modern" shotgun was registered in 1878.

Repeating action guns came about in the mid 1800's and were made possible by cartridge ammunition (two types, rimfire and centerfire).

Lever action and revolvers were the first forms of repeating action guns with semi-automatic not far behind. The first automatic weapons were Gatling guns using during the Civil War.
Black powder rifles are still used today but they are fairly different than the original flintlocks. They use a primer to ignite the powder in the barrel and come as both muzzle loaders (load the powder and bullets from the muzzle end, tamping everything down the barrel with a ramrod) and breach loaders (the barrel breaks open and the bullet and powder are loaded from the breach end).
Next-Gen and smart weapons: companies are developing firearms that read the user's fingerprints and will only fire for the person whose prints it recognizes. There are also firearms in the works for police officers that have a chip in them that read a corresponding chip in the officer's badge so it will only fire from a certain angle. This is to prevent officers from being injured or killed with their own weapons.
Smart bullets are getting more into sci-fi territory. There are companies that are working on bullets that can change their trajectory mid-flight making it easier to account for wind and moving targets. Information gathering bullets are also being developed, making essentially "spy bullets" that can report back intel.

My biggest pet peeve when it comes to firearms in books and movies is when people use clip and magazine interchangeably. They are not the same thing. Their similarities stop at ammo delivery system. Saying they're the same is like saying wooden clogs and Manolo Blahnik stilettos are the same. Yes they both go on your feet but that's where the similarities end.
Clips (left picture) are a piece of metal that clamps ammo in place. They're usually used for WWI/WWII era military rifles. They can be used by inserting the whole thing into the chamber of the rifle and when all of the rounds are fired, the clip pops out the top or you would just line the clip up with the chamber, push the rounds into the gun, and pocket the clip.
Magazines are fully contained and use a spring under a plate to deliver round into the chamber, usually from the bottom of the chamber.


According to the ATF, long guns are firearms meant to be fired from the shoulder, legally having a barrel that is 18.5 inches or longer.
Unless you have a special license, it is illegal for people to have long guns with barrels that are shorter than 18.5 inches long.
There are two types of long guns: rifles (right three pictures), these shoot bullets and have a rifled barrel; and shotguns (left picture) that have a smooth bore barrel and shoot lead shot in a scatter pattern.
The ammo is not a hard rule. They do make shotshells for rifles, usually in rimfire calibers, they look like bullets full of sprinkles. They're primarily used for rattlesnakes and pigeons. You can also get slugs for shotguns, it's a good idea to get a rifled barrel for your shotgun if you plan on using slugs.
Optics vs iron sights- optics (scopes red dots) are used primarily on rifles that don't have iron sights like the top rifle on the right. The bottom two rifles both have iron sights which consist of a single post at the end of the barrel that you line up between the U-shaped sights towards the rear of the gun. Shotguns usually have a single bead sight at the end of the barrel, sometimes they have a second sight towards the rear of the gun.
"Sniper rifle" is not really a term used in the industry. A sniper is a person who is a well-trained shooter. Any rifle they use is a "sniper rifle." There is no gun that you can point at and say "that's a sniper rifle." In fact, the top rifle on the right is a Remington 700 and is one of the most popular guns snipers use. They do add special barrels, triggers, and amazing optics to increase their accuracy.
"Assault rifle" is another term not used in the industry.  It's usually applied to AR-15 style rifles. The AR actually stands for Armalite Rifle, Armalite being the company that developed the rifle. AR-15 is the specific model of the Armalite version but other companies make similar rifles but have different model names. Use terms like AR-style, modern sporting rifles (MSRs), or even black guns (comes from the fact that they're usually black, super advanced, I know).

Handguns are firearms that are meant to be fired using one or two hands, extended away from the body.
There are two types: pistols, the ammo is delivered by a magazine that is fitted into the grip (top two pictures; and revolvers, where the ammo is delivered from a revolving cylinder (bottom two pictures).
Glock and pistol are not synonymous. Glock is a handgun manufacturer in Austria who make one of the most popular handguns in the world.
Single action: you have to pull the hammer back to fire the gun (examples: 1911 first picture, replica 1841 revolver fourth picture)
Double action: revolver with no external hammer, usually on conceal carry guns like the Ruger J-frame style (third picture) so there's no hammer to get caught on clothing, purses, or holsters reducing the chance of misfiring
Single-double: revolvers that have hammers but can be fired with or without pulling the hammer back, without pulling the hammer back results in a long trigger pull, pulling the hammer back shortens the trigger pull.

Silencers don't exist.
Suppressors do. They do reduce the noise a firearm makes but it will still be loud, like a door slamming. You have to have a Class 3 license to purchase one.
A ton of movies and shows have a red dot showing up on somebody's chest or head, indicating that they are in a sniper's sights and are about to be killed. Snipers aren't going to use a laser sight. Snipers have two primary objectives: 1) kill their target; 2) don't give away their location. Lasers warn the target, giving them time to get out of the way and give away the sniper's location. You also have to sight lasers in like you do scopes. If you sight them in for 100 yards and try to shoot somebody at 50 yards by putting the laser on their chest, you'll shoot over their head.
Semi-Automatic: means you pull the trigger, a round is fired, the shell is ejected, and the next round is loaded into the chamber, then everything stops.
Automatic: pull the trigger, a round is fired, the shell is ejected, and the next round is loaded into the chamber, cycle continues until you release the trigger. Made for short bursts, too much use will burn up the barrel.
Machine gun: automatic weapon that is made for near-continuous use.
Automatic and machine guns are terrible for accuracy. There is a lot of lift when they're being fired and unless the user has great control over it, it'll be hard to actually hit something. They're made for suppressive fire or distracting the enemy. Their motto is accuracy through volume.
List of approximate capacities for different kinds of firearms. See the manufacturer's websites for accurate capacity for the gun you are using. There are plenty of after-market accessories that will increase capacities, ex: 30 round mag for a Glock 17 or a 50 round drum mag for a Ruger 10/22 rifle.

To make sure you are using the correct terminology (mag vs clip, etc).
History: make sure you are using firearms that are correct to the time period, don't want to be using a lever action rifle during the Revolutionary War.
Geography: some firearms are not accessible or allowed in parts of the world. Ex.: there is a ban on surplus military rifles (like Mosin Nagants or SKSs) being imported into the US so you can't find a new one in a store anymore.
Helps with realism. I read a book once about a French resistance group during WWII and I'm pretty sure the author didn't know any other guns that were used in WWII besides an Uzi (second picture) because every single person in the group used an Uzi. Resistance fighters would have pilfered their firearms anywhere they could find them. They were also supplied by the Allies so they would have used any combination of French, German, American, British, etc firearms
Glocks are one of the most popular handgun in the world because of its durability. It is used a lot by law enforcement agencies but it is not the only firearms used for service weapons. Many police departments get surplus military handguns and up until about 3 years ago that was the Beretta M9. The US military has since moved on to a Sig Sauer handgun that is a bit more versatile. Glocks are one of the only handguns that I have ever heard of that can be fired underwater but you'll only get one shot off before it's useless.
If you want a character to continuously pull the trigger and get that click-click-click effect that you see in a lot of movies once all of the bullets are fired, give them a revolver, not a pistol. A pistol slide will lock back (bottom picture) and while the trigger keeps moving, nothing else happens.
Range of accuracy: with the right caliber and the right shooter, a bullet can go a mile but it's a pretty tough feat. Meanwhile, a gun like a derringer (top picture) is accurate up to about 8 feet, it's meant to be shot across a poker table, you'll struggle to hit your target from across the street, although they do make them in higher calibers and longer barrels now that have increased their range of accuracy.

 Examples of genres where firearms are readily used.

With sci-fi weapons, it's really author's choice for how they work but having a basic understanding of how firearms operate will help make them more realistic.
 ATF website will give you federal regulations and some state regulations. They also have pamphlets and forms you can download.
Manufacturer websites give you specifics about their firearms.
Brownells sells afermarket accessories like magazines, optics, sights, grips, barrels, etc.
State law enforcement agencies will give you state firearm regulations. You used to be able to find these on the ATFs website but when gun regulations started changing very quickly, it's tough for them to keep up.
Other countries will have their own versions of the ATF where you can find their firearm regulations.
Local gun clubs/gun shops are a wealth of gun knowledge. It sounds like a stereotype but old gun guys love talking about guns. I used to work with a handful of them and had plenty of customers who fit in that category. They'll spend hours talking guns with you if you let them.
IMFDb lists firearms used in different movies, it's really great for sci-fi movies where they take real firearms and modify them to make them look more futuristic.

Please feel free to email or Facebook message me with any firearm questions you have and I'll answer what I can and point you in the right direction for the ones I can't.

Wednesday, July 24, 2019

So Right-Brained it's Painful



I did fairly well in math in school, I took AP biology in high school and passed. I scraped by my bio classes in college, did much better at geology, but I'll never be a scientist or a mathematician.

When I read legal or business language like in a contract or my insurance paperwork, my brain turns to static. Seriously, it's like it forgot how to exist.

Signal lost, end of the day's programming, super black hole.


Image result for tv static

To make matters worse, it's not just when I read it or hear it (sorry insurance lady who comes to work every year to explain our benefits, I didn't catch any of that), even thinking about it causes brain melt.

Why is this on a blog about writing and books and stuff?

Do you know how much legal/business stuff authors have to deal with? Especially self-published authors? I thought I knew.

I didn't.

I went to a workshop on tax info for authors at the last Nebraska Writers Guild spring conference. It was great, very informative, and gave me the illusion that I could easily handle the business side of this business.

Guys, I am so out of my league.

I started working on getting a tax id number. I didn't make it past the first page.

I figured I should get the handout the gentleman who ran the class gave us so I would have a guide through the process. The more I looked at it, the more static happened in my brain. There were numbers and percentages and form names and stuff. My brain shut down after overheating and hulksmashing the table.

The problem is, I think I have a fairly decent understanding of the pieces and parts of the whole giving the government it's cut thing, but when I try processing the entire thing is where I run into trouble.

I'll keep plugging away at it, chipping away at the little bits until the whole thing comes together... because it's figure it out or go to jail, I guess??

Thankfully, in my line of work, being overly right-brained is a good thing. In the meantime, I'm going to call the man who has all the answers to life's mysteries.

DAD!!

Sunday, July 7, 2019

Baby Steps in the Right Direction

I wrote 1032 words today.

That doesn't seem like much but that is the most productive writing I've done in I can't even tell you how long. It's been probably more than 6 months.

Before today, most work I've gotten done is staring at my computer, willing the words to come out, and editing what I have done for the 300th time. I've also been staring at my outline, constantly telling myself that I am so close to being done and then not doing the writing that would actually make me be done.

It feels good. So good to be back at the keyboard (clicky alphabet for those who read the same article that I did: 8 Ways to Fit Writing into Your Life) and see progress on that blank page. To see the words flow like I forgot they could. To be proud of the progress, as little as it is.

It's actually my birthday! Woo!
I also played around with cover designs on selfpubbookcovers.com which the glorious Sarah Buhrman, the Author Goddess, herself told me about. It's a cool website for writers to pick customizable cover art from a ton of options for not a ton of money. Authors can also work with artists to design original covers for their books. It's all in-progress right now but if I manage to pull this off, you'll get to see what I've been working on.

You see, there's a huge writing contest that closes at the end of August that I have no chance in winning but I'm going to throw my hat in the ring anyway. What do I have to lose? I get something written and you get to read something else. It's a win-win... although that $25,000 grand prize wouldn't be a kick to the teeth.

And I'm writing my first blog post in... 😐 Moving on.

Program containing my short
story and buttons I made.
See! I wasn't lying!
And guys, I totally spaced on telling you, a short story I wrote, Phoenix-Born, got runner up in a writing contest a couple of months ago! It was the annual Sci-Fi/Fantasy writing contest put on by Constellation, a local con that celebrates all things nerdy and amazing. And guys, members of the Nebraska Writer's Guild swept the short story contest! Sarah Buhrman (see above) got first place with me in second. They said they had a record number of entries this year and are looking at splitting into different categories to get more winners in the future. It's exciting to be part of something that is growing.

Someday I'll get it posted somewhere so you can read it.

Baby steps, people. Baby steps.


Monday, October 15, 2018

Fantasy and World Building

This past weekend, I gave a presentation on fantasy and world building at the Nebraska Writers Guild Fall Conference. This is my power point and as much of my random babblings about the topic that I can remember.


As much as I hate using Wikipedia, I found a fantastic line “[fantasy] differs from realistic fiction in that realistic fiction has to attend to the history and natural laws of reality, where fantasy does not. Cambridge Companion to Fantasy Literature
Fantasy is one of the oldest, if not oldest genre of storytelling (Epic of Gilgamesh, Beowulf, Oddessy, creation myths, etc) although modern fantasy was born after the horrors of WWII. Tolkien and Lewis are attributed with really getting the genre going. Summary: Fantasy is a genre where the plot could not happen in real life.

Magic- elemental, herbs, incantations, crystals, magical objects, internal power
Special powers- mind reading, seeing the future, communicating with animals. Also found in superhero stories but different origins- mutated genes, radioactive spider bite, serum, etc. Fantasy- comes from family, spells, curses, etc.
Supernatural elements- Ghosts, vampires, werewolves, etc. also found in paranormal fiction (sub-genre under Horror). Lines between paranormal and fantasy started blurring about 20 years ago and lots of elements are crossing over.
Creatures- elves, dwarves, mer-people, centaurs, basilisks
Made up setting- can be in a made out town like Hogsmead which is in Scotland from Harry Potter or you can create a whole world like Middle Earth
Not all these elements are required for a story to be considered Fantasy, except magic. It is the element that ties the genre together.

 How many fantasy sub-genres are there? Over 50. It is a constantly changing genre- sub-genres are combining and new ones are being created. Many are very similar with very minute differences.
These are the major fantasy sub-genres, you can see some of them are combined. On the right are examples of each of the sub-genre. Tolkien is considered the father of High Fantasy while Robert E. Howard is considered the founder of sword and sorcery Fantasy with his Conan the Barbarian series.
Many books can be under multiple sub-genres, ex. Outlander- Historical/Portal (Portal is where the protagonist gets transported to a different world/time ex. Chronicles of Narnia, 10th Kingdom), also time travel romance which is a much-fought-over sub-genre because time travel is traditionally in Sci-Fi while romance also claims it; all over the place.
Harry Potter is low (fantasy that takes place in the real world, similar to urban fantasy) and young adult. Daughter of the Forest- high fantasy romance/fairy tale retelling (fairy tell is The Six Swans).

In fantasy, the writer is the master of the universe which is liberating and very daunting. Nobody can fact-check you because you created it, but you also have to make sure you explain everything well enough that the reader understands your story. Ex. If Nicholas Sparks says the protagonist walks into a high school basketball game, everybody knows what that looks, sounds, smells, tastes, and feels like. When Rowling introduced Quidditch, we didn't even know how to pronounce it. She had to go the extra mile to clearly explain how it was played, what it looked like, and what it felt like to play.
Our world sucks sometimes, reading and writing fantasy is a great way to escape that because the problems that occur in fantasy are different from our own.

Good vs. Evil is a very common theme across the entire fantasy genre which I think is amazing because you're taking one of the most human struggles and applying it to fantastical creatures and places.
Extra words! A standard fiction novel is usually between 80,000-100,000 words. You get extra words when you have to create worlds. :)
You will rarely find a stand-alone fantasy novel. Usually in trilogies but the series can go on forever. Outlander has approximately 87 books while Diskworld has around 192 (slight exaggerations may happen).
Don't get so caught up in the fantasy elements that you abandon the elements of good storytelling: plot, conflict, well-rounded realistic characters, and character development.
Nebula awards are give every year by the Science Fiction and Fantasy Writers of America for excellence in sci-fi and fantasy, different categories: novels, novellas, novelettes, short stories, etc. I want one.

World building is creating the setting where your fantasy story takes place. In urban/low fantasy you have to figure out how to twine your fantasy world into the real world or you could go full Tolkien and create a whole world.
I have read a wide range of fantasy but I have, by no means, read the entire range of fantasy (50+ sub-genres, remember), but in my opinion, these are the best world buildings in the genre.
C.S. Lewis- Narnia
J.R.R. Tolkien- Middle Earth
J.K. Rowling- Ministry of Magic, Hogwarts
George R.R. Martin- Westeros
Terry Pratchett- Diskworld
 I'm a writer, not an artist. Please don't make fun of my map. I know it's terrible.
Geography- mountains, rivers, jungle, grasslands, tundra, etc. and corresponding climates.
Creatures:
Intelligent- elves, dwarves, humans, centaurs, etc. (have language, culture, civilization)
Unintelligent- horses, dogs, cats, unicorns, etc.
Line crossers- horse that can talk from The Horse and his Boy (Lewis)
Culture- etiquette & taboos, courtship rituals, economy (important because it helps dictate how your world looks, poor economy-mud huts, good economy-marble palaces), medicine (herbs, man-made, magic), clothing, food
Religion- involved gods (Percy Jackson, anything by David & Leigh Eddings) or uninvolved gods
Language- do all the species have their own or is there a common language that everybody uses
Cause & Effect- what happened in the world to make all hell break lose (where your book is)

Or need to (protagonist sneaking through the sewers to get to the castle/ traveling to find a magic thing on roads or wandering through the wilderness)

Do:
Make it as real as possible- this will make it more relateable to your reader and they will be engaged more. Usually, focus on making the characters realistic.
Usable- make sure your characters can function within the world, if it's too hard or too easy, it won't be interesting for the reader.
Don't:
Drown them in details- no info dumping at the beginning. Dole out details as the reader needs them to understand the story. Don't give them more details than they need.
Forget your own rules- will throw off the reader if the rules change in the middle of the book.
worldbuildingmonthly.com is a great website to go to if you need help with world building.

This is what the people in my presentation came up for the preliminary steps of world building. I thought it was fantastic and a good start to a very interesting world.

Monday, August 6, 2018

Editing Loop... of DEATH

Dun, dun, dunnnnnn.

I’m currently stuck in an editing loop (if that’s not an actual term, it is now, I claim it!).

For those of you who are not in my brain, an editing loop is the act of constantly editing the unfinished work that you’re writing instead of writing more.

I’ve been stuck in this current loop with the novel that I’m working on for about 2 years, the problem is, I just realized it this morning.

My justification this whole time has been “it’s been so long since I’ve worked on this, if I go back and read through what I’ve already written, it’ll put me in the right frame of mind to keep writing” but generally after an hour or two of editing, I get distracted or call it a day before I get any actual writing done.


This is your brain on Editing Loop...
Or at least this is what my brain does.

Happened to me just yesterday. I was going through a paper copy of my urban fantasy/twisted fairy tale that I had done edits on in pen and transferring those edits to my digital copy. I actually managed to get some things done between Facebook creeping, posting on Instagram (Toothless now has his own account: toothless_ski if you want to follow him. I have an account but it’s nothing great. Planning on doing an author one soon because all the amazing book stuff floating around needs to be shared), and Facetiming with my mom, complete with a guilt trip from my dad about still not having said book finished yet. Soon after I hung up with my parents, I realized I was hungry, got up from my computer to make supper, then got sucked into Criminal Minds on Netflix.

So much for getting some actual writing done.

It can't be all bad, right? I mean, I'm still doing author stuff and editing is a necessary evil of the writing world, so I'm actually being proactive.

Right?

While constant editing is not totally bad, it's not great either. Over-edited work is just as bad as under-edited work. It loses it's character and voice; it becomes stilted and clinical. It turns into what that particular genre is "supposed" to look like instead of that glorious piece of art that is part of the author's soul (I'm not writing so my creativity has to escape somehow, if you think this is bad, be glad you're not my coworkers, they put up with this for 40 hours a week).

If you're writing non-fiction, primarily a textbook, being clinical is not a bad thing. It's actually what you're going for so edit away! If you're writing fiction with a fiery, redheaded main character, it is.

So how do you escape the editing loop of death?

WRITE!

How do I escape the editing loop of death?

I'll let you know when I get out.

Tuesday, July 24, 2018

Support your Local Library

This post started out as an ode to the library, but due to recent events, it has turned into a completely different creature.

Recently, Forbes published an article by economist Panos Mourdoukoutas with the title "Amazon Should Replace Local Libraries to Save Taxpayers Money."

I'm not going to lie, my head about exploded.

Screenshot of the (inactive) article link from my Facebook page.
I didn't believe it at first. I thought it was one of those satirical pieces that people write that expound on the virtues of the thing they are "against."

I was wrong.

In it, Mourdoukoutas claimed that libraries no longer serve the community like they used to, basically, they cost more than they are worth. He said that people can just as easily go to Starbucks for their wifi and human contact, use Netflix and other streaming services for their movies, and go straight to Amazon for their books. Mourdoukoutas also said that physical books are a thing of the past and there is no need for libraries' borrowing services since everybody just downloads e-books.

He is wrong for a few reasons:

1) Physical book sales are steady and are actually up from a few years ago when e-books first became popular.

2) You have to buy something from Starbucks to hang out there (it's rude otherwise and you might get the cops called on you).

3) Streaming services cost money as does getting books from Amazon.

What Mr. Mourdoukoutas fails to realize is, that libraries offer more than just books, movies, and wifi (all for free, I might add, which is very beneficial to low-income families, poor college students, and anybody living paycheck-to-paycheck). They offer classes on taxes, computers, languages, writing, crafts, music, and the list goes on; summer reading programs to encourage literacy in all ages, author readings/signings, local art/historical artifact exhibits, musicians, book clubs, stuffed animal slumber parties, pub quizzes, historical documents, genealogy services, and are usually staffed by some of the nicest people you will ever meet.

The article has since been removed from Forbes' site because of the backlash they received and they have issued a statement saying,
Forbes advocates spirited dialogue on a range of topics, including those that often take a contrarian view. Libraries play an important role in our society. This article was outside of this contributor's specific area of expertise, and has since been removed.(Quartz, downloaded 7/24/2018)
While I am happy Forbes removed the article and ecstatic that so many people jumped to the defense of libraries, what does this mean for our society? That a influential magazine like Forbes would publish something claiming that something as important as libraries mean nothing in our modern communities, op-ed piece or not.

As a taxpayer, I am 100% okay with that tiny percent of my taxes going to libraries. If I can help keep the doors open and the lights on so that single-income parent with a family of bookworms can check out the entire Berenstain Bear collection or new additions to the community can take ESL classes, I am more than happy to do it.

Why are we a society obsessed with things that will make money? Encouraging kids to get into STEM subjects is fantastic, but don't shame the kids who would rather dance, sing, write, read, draw, etc. because those things won't make them money.

Just because things "don't make money" doesn't mean they are without value.

I snagged this off of author and fellow Nebraska Writers Guild member,
Sarah Buhrman's Facebook page. It's been floating around the internet
for a few days. Thank you Denise Ivanoff for putting it into words.
First, they came after our national parks. Next they came after our arts and humanities. They try to come after our libraries again and there will be hell to pay.

#HufflepuffsUnite #RavenclawsCanComeToo

Sunday, July 22, 2018

Be a Cheerleader, Pompoms optional

You want to be the next J.K. Rowling? Awesome, sign me up to be a beta reader when you finish your novel.

You want to be the next Stephen Spielberg? Spectacular, can I be an extra? I'll bring Reese's Pieces to share.

You want to be the next Julia Child? Amazing, let me know if you need to borrow any kitchen stuff or need a taste-tester.

You want to be the next John Wayne Gacy? Cool, you stay right there while I go call the police and get my self-defense machete, but when you start painting clown pictures in prison, let me know. They make lovely gifts.

Growing up, I never really was told that I couldn't be what I wanted to be. My parents taught me to be realistic with my goals but to also go for what I wanted. They gave me the right amount of encouragement that kept me reaching for my dreams but kept me grounded.

That's what I try to give whenever somebody shares their goals with me (especially if it's in the arts because that's where my heart is). If they tell me they want to go back to grad school to get their masters after being out of school for 10 years, I am going to cheer, encourage, offer study help, and anything else I can, including being ridiculously excited and proud.

Or if they say they're about to give up on their book because they've been working on it for five years and it isn't going anywhere.

Oofta.

You want to see some beat-you-over-the-head encouragement? Tell me you're going to give up writing because it's too hard/somebody said your writing is terrible/*insert stupid reason here*, because I will encourage the shit out of you.

This is my level 5 crazy face.
Do you know why?

Because you deserve it.

I have a few special cheerleaders in my life. They know and understand that I can easily get caught up in pipe dreams and instead of crushing them, they calmly bring me back to reality with questions about how exactly would I go about dropping everything to move to Brazil to own a llama ranch when I don't speak Portuguese, nor do I know the first thing about llamas. But they are champs with my more realistic dreams like becoming an author, moving to Lincoln, adopting a cat, and living up to my Worlds #1 Aunt tee shirt.

A few years ago one of my best friend's daughter's teachers told her that her daughter wasn't very creative and that they should work on that at home. My friend was floored because her daughter was one of the most creative kids she had ever known. She loved coloring, crafts, making up stories, and decorating their living room. I remember my jaw hitting the ground when my friend told me this because she was always bringing me pictures her daughter had colored for me. I still have them and one is on my fridge right now.

With less encouraging parents, that teacher's one comment could have stifled that little girl's creativity and artistic dreams for the rest of her life. But my friend did something awesome. She blew off the teacher's opinion and kept doing what she was doing. When a paint your own pottery place came to town, my friend took her daughter. They now go once a month to do all the projects that the place offers and her daughter's skills are growing by leaps and bounds.

I guess the point of this whole thing is encourage, don't discourage.