Reader Error/Writer's Fault

I have a confession:

I am probably the worst avid reader you have ever met.

I love reading. I always have. And if you have read any of my other posts, you would not doubt that.

But lately (by lately, I mean the last few years), my reading has fallen to the wayside.

I want to read. I really do. I have a whole stack of books that I can't wait to read, but I can never seem to be in the mood to open any of them.

After some soul-searching (and recreational Facebook creeping), I think I have figured whose fault it is that I'm not reading any of the approximately 1.5 million awesome books I have waiting for me.

The writer in my head.

Why is it her fault?

It's because I want to read the book she's writing and she's not done with it yet.

It might seem kind of conceited to some people, that I'd rather read something that I wrote than what somebody else wrote. And I supposed it is, to a point. But I don't want to read my own work because I think it's better than everybody else's.

I want to read it because it's the story that I want but can't find anywhere else.

Picture from LikeSuccess
I feel you, Toni.

I also feel guilty reading somebody else's books when I have so many books of my own that are unfinished. It seems disloyal for some reason. Those characters, who I love like friends, are sitting there in limbo, with half their stories told.

I swear, one of these days, they're going to gang up and go full Misery (Stephen King reference #1) on me.

A part of me is also terrified that if I read something similar to what I'm writing, that story will leech into my own and then it's no longer mine.

All of a sudden, my western Thelma and Louise story starts sounding like The Dark Tower (Stephen King reference #2) and then where would we be? Thelma hunting Louise, a creature from the swamp shows up and kidnaps the mayor's daughter while a deadly plague wipes out the entire town (I've never read The Dark Tower so I actually have no idea what happens, but it is in the stack of books I need to read).

So here we are, not reading.

Buying books sometimes, but not reading.

Writing lots, but not reading.

The crappy part is, it's because of all of my reading that I become a writer. I have learned so much about storytelling and character development from the books I've read. Those authors are my mentors and now I feel like I'm skipping class, not doing my homework, and running the other way when I see them on the street.

I also never seem to have the time to read...

I'll chalk that up to the recreational Facebook creeping.